Everyone Poops (kind of)

So, I am officially afraid to poop. I know that I shouldn't be. Maybe this book will help. I don't understand why there is an apple on the cover. Does an apple poop? If so, maybe we've been looking at apples wrong this entire time. I have never had trouble pooping before. Ask anyone. One time, I pooped in a zip lock bag and put it in some one's  barracks room. Do you know sheer mechanics of pooping in a plastic baggie? It's an adventure to say the least. I can poop in front of anyone. One time I pooped in the white house. The actual white house. Where the President of the United States lives. It was a big moment for me.
After my brother was diagnosed with colon cancer, I can't bring myself to poop. Maybe today will be the day. I will keep everyone posted.

-Matt