I’ve been 32 for almost a year now and in that time I’ve had a miscarriage, a deployed husband, a brother diagnosed with stage IV cancer, and now a brother in law diagnosed with, guess what?! stage IV cancer.
Up until this week I was looking forward to putting 32 behind me. I am not afraid to grow older and this has been one hell of a year and I was in desperate need to get out of the 32 funk. Now I’m terrified to get older. My brother was diagnosed with cancer at the age of 35. My husband’s brother was diagnosed this week, and he turns 35 in a month.
How on earth did 35 become the new 75?
Cancer is weird. In almost all types of cancer an audience wants to blame the patient. When I told people that my brother was diagnosed, at 35, with stage IV esophageal cancer, the first reaction was “well, did he smoke?”
People inherently want to blame the cancer on the cancer patient. Its easier to deal with if they can think that its only terrifying if they do certain activities. A neighbor asked, when hearing about my brother in law, if he had a bad diet. The audience wants to blame someone other than cancer.
Cancer is this scary thing that is hard to explain, but somehow becomes less terrifying if the patient themselves “deserve it”. No one deserves cancer. For the record, my brother had persistent heartburn that lead to his cancer. WTF?! Heartburn? How does that lead to cancer?
My brother in law has lead a gluten free diet for the past year. They are in no way responsible for their diagnoses. Its bullshit that the first reaction of most people is to blame. I was totally guilty of it too. I like the idea of being able to say that I definitely won’t get testicular cancer because I don’t lead a lifestyle that makes me have male organs. They seem bunchy and I’m sure would get in the way a lot, so I KNOW I won’t get any type of ball cancer. Thank GOD I don’t have balls!
Ball cancer or not, No one deserves cancer. People seem less sympathetic once they find out its anything but breast cancer. That is why the NFL gets all decked out in pink. Breast cancer is that unicorn of all cancers. Its beautiful and easy to find “hope for a cure”. People love to picture breasts, even if they are cancer ridden. No one wants to picture an esophagus or colon. How do you assign a color to those. Breast cancer is pretty in pink. All cancers should be represented by doo doo brown, or if there is a color of a unicorn’s tears, that is what we should put on a ribbon.
Fuck Cancer
-Leah
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